Rosie, when it comes to communicating in relationships, you're an

Oranges like you have a relationship style that highlights their independence. So at times when you become angry over a big disagreement with your partner, you'll probably make reasonable efforts to work through problems. However, you may ultimately feel like it's better to leave things be than to rock the boat too much. Take a pair of Oranges, for example: Greg and Jennifer. Greg and Jennifer had been on a strict budget so they could save for a down payment on a new house. One day, Jennifer found out that Greg had been selling parts of his coin collection on eBay so he could have a private stash of spending money. Jennifer was so angered by this discovery that her hair practically stood on end. The pair engaged in a brief but fiery argument before withdrawing from each other to think through the negative feelings that had been bought up for both of them.

After they'd both taken some time alone to come to their own understandings of what had happened, Greg let Jennifer know that he didn't intend to upset her. Jennifer accepted his apology. By way of making amends, Greg offered to deposit the remainder of his spending money toward their house savings and promised not to keep secret stashes of money in the future. Jennifer appreciated this gesture and no more was said about the whole unfortunate incident. Because Greg and Jennifer are both Oranges who are focused on keeping things pleasant while respecting one another's individuality, this problem quickly vanished. If they hadn't been so complementary in their communication styles, this problem easily could have become a real roadblock in their relationship.

People tend to develop their relationship styles based on the kind of communication that's been most successful for them in past close relationships. Because one of your first close relationships was with your parents or a parental figure, their communication styles are apt to be the most influential to your development. This doesn't necessarily mean that you'll have the exact same communication patterns as the people who raised you. Some aspects of the way you relate to others may be identical to one or both of your parents. Other aspects may result from the way you needed to relate to them during childhood to get your way. For example, as an Orange, you may have had parents who were also Oranges. You may also have learned that the best way to get what you wanted was to go out and get it yourself.

Your Compatibility Color Wheel is a visual representation of where you stand in relation to the other relationship colors. The closer a color is to you on the wheel, the more compatible you will be with it. On the flip side, the color that lies directly opposite with you on the Compatibility Color Wheel is the one with which you're likely to clash most.

For example, because you are an Orange, you will tend to get along best with other Oranges. However, your color is harmonious with Reds and Yellows, too. The color you most clash with (in relationship terms) is Blue. This doesn't mean that a successful relationship between you and a Blue is impossible. It simply means that this match is a less natural fit for you, and the relationship will likely require additional work to keep things going smoothly. Here's the complete rundown of all your color compatibilities:

This is your most challenging match. The passionate, fiery aspects of your personality are likely to clash head on with a Blue's calm and deliberate ways. In fact, you'll probably find a Blue's desire to fully, rationally discuss emotions and problems both stifling and invasive.

An Orange/Green match can work, but it may take some extra effort. Greens will likely understand your need for space, but they may still want to discuss problems more fully than you'd like. However, by setting some clear boundaries up front, the two of you can avoid problems before they start and move your relationship forward.

This is a good match. A Yellow will support your need for autonomy, something you really value in a partner. However, you may want to keep tabs on your sometimes aggressive nature. Otherwise, you may find your Yellow shrinking from you during tough conversations.

This is your best match in terms of communication, as another Orange will be able to both support your self-reliant nature and be a worthy adversary when tempers flair. Another Orange is not likely to be put off by a heated discussion.

An Orange/Red pairing is typically a good match, too, because like you, Reds aren't afraid of a little confrontation. However, this is the one type that may actually be too aggressive for your tastes. You'll have to test the waters to know for sure.

This match, although not ideal, can work with extra effort. A Purple will usually be able to rise to meet your level of passion in a relationship but may have a hard time giving you space when you need it. You will need to consciously work through this issue before the two of you can really thrive as a couple.

Most people have experienced a difficult relationship at some point in their life, whether it was a romantic relationship, a friendship, or a family tie that somehow just unraveled. When negative emotions start to fly, most people tend to fall into unproductive, reactionary patterns. This only serves to help a bad situation spiral downward further.

Your test results reveal that when you feel unhappy in a relationship, you're most likely to become angry and aggressive. Whether you find yourself yelling, giving dirty looks, slamming doors, or seething with anger, you seem to know when you've had it with a relationship — and you tend to let everyone else know about it.

That's why it's VERY important to look ahead, note patterns, and talk it out BEFORE it becomes a problem.  I have NO problem discussing matters. [Let's have a quiet dinner out, we need to talk about some things.]  I have a HUGE problem being blown off and ignored; speeding the race to the problem and complicating it even further. [45 min into my umpteenth attempt to talk something out, yes, NOW I'm mad, NOW I'm all worked up, and NOW he says "I can't talk to you when you're like this".  So DON'T let it get to that!] If I am cut off from communicating a myriad of very unpleasant characteristics will surely follow.

At these times, any emotion you experience is likely followed by feelings of victimization. You may begin to feel like you're being hurt or trapped by someone else's actions. Often this will leave you feeling powerless and depressed. What you need to remind yourself of at moments like this is that you have control over your own life. Remaining passive in your relationship will only lead to further feelings of victimization, ones that may or may not be accurate.

When you experience an unhealthy pattern in a relationship, especially one that goes on for a long period of time, you can end up feeling overwhelmed by negativity. After a while, you may even find it difficult to sort out the good from the bad between you and your partner. This confusion makes it all the more difficult to turn your relationship around. Fortunately, you have more power over your relationship's success than you think. By helping you identify the negative patterns you're most likely to display and tuning you in to others, Emode's Relationship Color Test gives you new insight into your past, present, and future relationships.

So if you feel stuck in a relationship that makes you feel badly, it's time for you to reassess the value of being in it. You have the power of choice; you can either fix it or move on. Read the Take Action! below for tips on turning rocky relationships around.

In addition to these pointers, it can be helpful to remember that each of the six relationship colors embodies styles that may need addressing from time to time. As an Orange, you will want to take care to:

• Treat your partner with the same consideration and care that you would treat a stranger. It's easy to slip into unthinking or even rude behavior with increased intimacy. All the same, being nice is never overrated.
• Remember why you chose to have a relationship with your partner. Concentrate on your similarities and your shared beliefs.
• Show affection to your partner. Let them know how much you love and admire them on a regular basis.
• Get outside help when you need it. If you're unsure of how to bring something up with your partner, try talking to a friend, counselor, family member, or other supportive person first. This way, you can get more comfortable with your feelings before you talk to your partner about them.

The next time you find yourself in an argument, try to take a step back and notice your own style. How are you communicating with your partner? Are you sabotaging the discussion? If so, try to ease up on those negative habits and remember to respect, empathize with, and feel grateful for your partner — even in the midst of an argument. After all, this is a person you've chosen to share many aspects of your life with, and you can honor that choice by practicing loving communication.

Now that you have a better understanding of what makes a relationship successful, you can use this knowledge to either go out and find a partner who is just right for you or improve your current relationship. But Emode's Relationship Color Test is only your first step to improving your chances for lasting love. You'll also want to continue thinking about new ways to enhance your relationship style.

In the coming weeks, Emode will be sending you four mailings with tips and advice to help you make the most of your relationships. You can look forward to learning about: relationship intelligence, emotional intelligence, and increasing your chances for success in love. You'll also learn more about finding the right partner for you.

In the meantime, you can take steps to make progress in the areas where you may need improvement. When you're receptive to change, you can truly take action to become the best you can be.

Look for your first mailing in one week!

Emode's Relationship Color Test was developed in response to recent theoretical breakthroughs concerning relationship patterns and communication styles. Much of the material in this test is based on the work of psychologist John Gottman, who has spent over 20 years studying what makes relationships last and what causes them to erode. Emode built this test to measure a combination of the three main positive communication styles identified by Gottman, leading to six main types: Blue, Green, Orange, Purple, Red, and Yellow. In addition, negative communication styles and defeating self-perceptions were measured, revealing the most likely patterns that people fall into when they are in difficult relationships. The Relationship Color Test was designed specifically to help you find the most appropriate mate, understand when and why certain relationships are in danger, and discover how you can turn conflict around using loving communication.

Gottman, John M. and Joan Declaire. The Relationship Cure: A Five-Step Guide for Building Better Connections with Family, Friends, and Lovers. (2001).

Gottman, John M. and Nan Silver. Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: And How You Can Make Yours Last. (1995).

Notarius, Clifford and Howard J. Markman. We Can Work It Out: How to Solve Conflicts, Save Your Marriage, and Strengthen Your Love for Each Other. (1994).

Schnarch, David. Passionate Marriage: Love, Sex, and Intimacy in Emotionally Committed Relationships. (1998).