You may want to consider developing a stronger sensitivity to others' sense of privacy. While there is a lot to be said for openness, problems can arise when you put someone in an uncomfortable position by describing intimate details of your life or asking them questions about theirs. It's important to respect people's boundaries and pay attention to the subtle cues people give off when you ask them things that are even remotely intimate.

For instance, certain individuals might readily tell others whether they are in a relationship, yet other people would rather keep this information to themselves. In order to avoid putting someone in the position of having to disclose something they might not want to, try telling them something small about yourself on the topic first. If they respond with questions or by telling you something about themselves, you have your answer that it's safe to proceed. If they do neither of these, you could try asking a less pointed question like, "Doesn't it seem like everyone is in a relationship these days?" to see if they comment about their own life. Finally, you can always ask the question but pay close attention to how the person responds. If they fidget, look confused, change the topic, or move away, then these are clear signs that you shouldn't ask more. Asking once is fine, as long as you take the hint and don't pry in the future.

At work, James was very curious. He was always asking others about what they did over the weekend, with whom they did it, and how they felt about it. While some employees took his interest as a compliment and were glad to tell him everything, others felt very uncomfortable and didn't know how to respond. One person in particular, Susan, was very bothered. Unfortunately she didn't have the social skills to tell James about her discomfort in a kind way. At one point she even yelled at James to "Stop prying!" in the middle of lunch. Her strong reaction shocked everyone, especially James, who felt he was doing something social and positive by making conversation. However, he handled her outburst well, and the two of them sat down to talk it out afterward. They agreed that James would be more careful with his questions so that she would have a way out or could easily disregard them without getting uncomfortable or having to speak up. In turn, James learned more about himself and was able to be more sensitive to others in general. Susan had the opportunity to realize that because his intentions were good, others' probably were, too. Before she had always felt that when others inquired about her personal life, they were being purposely rude.

"Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view." —Anon.