Gee eMode Whiz
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1997 - 2002
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title(according
to eMode)
Rosie, your primary
fear is
This means that your fears are strongest when it comes to change,
success, or personal commitment. When you are afraid of moving forward,
you are allowing yourself to stagnate in your comfort zone.
This fear may manifest in myriad ways, but at its center is the sense
that you're either unwilling or unable to get to the next level in life.
You may have grown up feeling that good is always followed by bad. Or
perhaps you subscribe to the belief that what goes up must come down.
Whatever the reason, when things are going well — or even just
all right — you would probably prefer to maintain the status quo
than to take a risk. You might fear that one false move could take away
all the happiness and security that you've worked for. You may also
simply be afraid of facing the unknown. When forces outside of you push
you to change, your tendency can be to become overwhelmed or to stay
in denial.
Believe it or not, there are certain benefits that can come along
with the fear of moving forward. For one, you may act humbly about your
achievements because you don't want to bring undue attention to your
successes. You may also be a very collaborative team player, because
you rarely feel the need to take the lead. People around you might describe
you as content or easy to please. After all, when you're not looking
to move ahead in life, where you are can look just fine.
Still, because the fear of moving forward is a large one for you,
its negative effects are likely to outweigh the positive ones. An overactive
fear can cause you to become stuck in a cycle, which feeds and worsens
the fear, inhibiting you from moving past it. When you allow your fears
to get out of control, they can become overwhelming. You may find yourself
feeling confused, uneasy about your life's purpose, or even depressed.
When fears take hold, they can affect all aspects of your life. Professionally,
you may begin to feel very scattered. You might also have trouble identifying
a career track or larger purpose for your work. On the personal front,
you may have difficulty initiating or staying in relationships, no matter
how satisfying they are. At its worst, this inability to connect deeply
can leave you feeling empty and alone.
Fortunately, most people don't let their fears grow to these levels.
Still, everyone could use advice on how to lessen fear's negative influence
so that they can truly enjoy life. Take, for example, Jordan.
Jordan was an extremely talented singer who was part of the local
church choir. Although he was truly gifted, he held back when he sang
with the group. He was afraid that if he sang to his full potential,
the other choir members would be discouraged and/or see him as a show-off.
For most of the year, the choir director allowed Jordan to languish
in the back row. However, when the Christmas concert was approaching,
the choir director pulled Jordan aside to see why he was burying his
gift. Jordan tried to explain his hesitation to sing solos, but as he
said it out loud, his reasons started sounding more and more ridiculous.
He and the choir director had a good laugh. The choir director explained
that when Jordan allowed his gift to shine, he gave other people inspiration
to let their gifts shine, too. From then on, Jordan took a new view
of his talents and was on a path to explore and celebrate his gifts.
Jordan is a prime example of someone who learned to overcome his fear
of moving ahead. He took control of his fears by changing his perspective.
One of the first ways you can help yourself get out from under fear's
adverse influence is to recognize it. |
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You know what it feels like when you are afraid: Your heart races,
you sweat, your breath stills or quickens. These body changes are real
and tangible. But did you know that fear changes your brain chemistry,
as well? When you're afraid, your brain prepares you for a "flight
or fight" response, whereby you can either get away from what you're
afraid of or combat it. If there's an immediate threat to your life
and limb, like encountering an attacker or a dangerous animal, this
response can be a good thing. But when your body begins to create this
reaction time and again in response to imagined or nonlethal threats,
it can be damaging to your health and well-being. What exactly does
a steady stream of fear do to you over time? Take a look at the potential
effects. A continual high level of fear and anxiety can result in:
Your level of confidence often affects the degree to which your fears
affect you. The more confidence in yourself, the more you're likely
to both challenge your fears and have the skills to hold your ground
against them. For more information about your confidence level, check
out Emode's Confidence Test (http://www.emode.com/tests/confidence/)
Take Action
Recognize
the effects of fear
Set aside some time to think as objectively as you can about your
primary fear. Try to identify both the triggers that set your fear
in motion and the effects you typically experience as a result of
it. By really studying your fear and its repercussions, you take
a healthy first step to releasing yourself from its hold. Once you've
come to understand your typical fear triggers and reactions, they
can seem less scary.
You may want to try incorporating your thoughts
on fear into journal writing. If you don't currently keep a daily
journal, now would be an excellent time to begin. Here are a couple
of exercises to help you get your next journal entry off to a great
start:
1. Ask yourself: Is your primary fear informing
the decisions and choices you make? Try looking at the list below
to begin thinking about ways that your primary fear is affecting
the major areas of your life:
Career
Creativity
Family
Finances
Health
Intimate relationships
Personal growth
Social life
2. Try writing about the following: Are you
honest about your fears with the people you have close and trusting
relationships with? Think about the one person who you are closest
to above all others. Are they already aware of your primary fear?
Is there anything holding you back from having a heart-to-heart with
them about this fear? The sooner you stop hiding your fear from yourself
and those closest to you, the sooner you'll be able to disarm your
fear.
3. Begin keeping a daily log of the fear symptoms
you experience. Understand that when you first begin your log, you
may find that you have more fear reactions than you'd originally
thought. If this is the case, don't be discouraged. You're not creating
new symptoms by writing about them. You're just identifying the ones
that have been with you all along. By getting a handle on exactly
what fear is doing to you, you can start to minimize its influence
on your life. |
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| In addition to your primary fear, other fear groups affect
you to varying degrees. Emode has identified five major areas of fear
that occur in most people. Understand that it's completely normal to
have some level of fear in each one. There's no need to become alarmed
if your score indicates a certain amount of fear in an area where you
feel confident and self-assured. That's natural. Also, note that this
test was not designed to measure clinical levels of anxiety. If you
scored very high in one or more fear areas and feel that you have an
unusually high level of fear and anxiety, you may want to consider seeking
professional help.
In the graph below, you can examine your fear scores in relation to
one another:
Your score on the moving forward scale is 5. This
scale measures your fear of change, success, or personal commitment.
Your score on the not belonging scale is 5. This
scale measures your fear of being an outcast, not being needed, or being
unloved.
Your score on the not being good enough scale is 4.
This scale measures your fear of not measuring up to your own standards,
being a failure, or embarrassing yourself in front of other people.
Your score on the being unsafe scale is 4. This scale
measures your fear of being attacked, victimized, punished, or hurting
someone else.
Your score on the losing the basics scale is 2. This
scale measures your fears of death and illness, losing your shelter,
or compromising your sustenance. |
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Over time, almost everyone collects both fears and negative perceptions
about themselves. Once these beliefs are formed, it's natural to seek
out feelings and experiences that support these adverse emotions. That's
what the cycle of fear is all about: experiencing a fear, reinforcing
it, and experiencing the fear more. As a result, you may find that you
work yourself up into anxious states or tune out evidence that would
disprove your fears. You do these kinds of things so that you can remain
consistent in your belief that you have something to be afraid of. It's
because of this conditioning that you may have difficulty abandoning
your anxieties in favor of your truer self.
When operating under the influence of fear, you're likely to engage
in behaviors that serve to feed your anxiety. Excessive worry, negative
self-talk, and visualizing disasters are all unproductive ways that
you trick yourself into maintaining and enlarging your fears. For example,
you may think that worrying about a fear you have will make you more
prepared to face it. But in truth, worry only wastes your time and energy.
It drags you down and can make you feel more hopeless.
Emode has examined your test results to identify the primary behavior
that allows your fears to persist.
Based on your responses, the unproductive behavior you're most likely
to engage in is excessive worry. When you're feeling anxious or afraid,
you may find yourself spending the majority of your time thinking about
all the awful things that could happen. By focusing your energies this
way, you keep yourself from doing things that would be more useful —
namely, taking positive action to change your situation for the better.
When your tendency for excessive worry is combined with your primary
fear of moving forward, you might find yourself obsessing about your
unfulfilled dreams or dwelling on the possibility of making the wrong
life choices. Although you may feel like this thought pattern is very
necessary to prepare you for action, in actuality it isn't. If you're
faced with an opportunity for growth, you will react to the best of
your ability at the time. By increasing the faith in your ability to
make appropriate choices as situations arise, you can find the freedom
to stop excessive worry.
Take Action
Break your
cycle of fear
Once you're better able to recognize when you're acting out of fear,
you can begin to halt fear's cycle. By taking positive, affirming
actions instead of allowing anxiety to take over, you can begin to
lessen fear's influence. You have the choice. Next time you feel
held back by fear, try the following:
1. Acknowledge that you're afraid or anxious,
but don't judge yourself for this moment of vulnerability. It's perfectly
normal to experience fear from time to time. Fighting against having
your fear or denying it will only make your anxieties worse.
2. Allow yourself some time to come to terms
with your feelings but without immediately searching for solutions.
This is simply your time to vent. Ask yourself why you are afraid,
and really listen to the answers you give. Are your fears realistic
or irrational? Make sure you cite evidence that supports whichever
belief you choose.
3. Once you've come to an understanding of your
fear, try to put it aside. Have faith that your awareness of the
fear and your understanding of how it's affecting you will inform
your future actions. You don't need to wonder if you'll do the right
thing. Let your fear go and trust that you will act correctly.
4. Next, shift gears. Ask yourself what you
are truly committed to. Is it your family, your ability to heal or
teach others, your creativity? Think about what it is that makes
you feel happy and whole. Recalling your strengths when you're facing
fears can be a powerful thing. There may even be a way that one of
your strengths can help you move past your fear. Take a little time
to brainstorm about any ways this might be possible. Take Sara, for
example.
Sara was terrified because she was going to
have to give a speech in front of a large audience of strangers.
Yet when Sara thought about why she was afraid, she couldn't come
up with one rational reason. To combat her irrational fears, Sara
thought about her commitment to help others and her abilities as
a teacher. Sara also recalled that she had actually enjoyed teaching
smaller seminars in the past, though at first even these small groups
made her nervous. Sara realized that she had overcome her original
fear of teaching and that she could master this new fear, as well.
Sara shifted her focus to think about the information she had to
convey and how very interesting and helpful her talk would be for
people who hadn't been exposed to the topic in the past. Sara felt
a surge of energy and decided to stop wasting time on her fears.
She instead set her sights on fulfilling her life's purpose to teach.
Next time you feel the pang of fear, remember
that the feeling is human. Allow your anxieties to be there, but
not so strongly that they overtake your decision-making process.
Keep focused on things that are meaningful to you, and refuse to
let fear derail you any longer. |
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The more you know about your fears, the better equipped you are to
master them. Without being held back by negative emotions, you can be
all the more certain of achieving your dreams. Emode's What Are You
Afraid Of? test is just your first step in reclaiming your life from
destructive fears. Don't let the process stop here!
To reinforce what you've learned about fear and teach you some new
techniques to combat it, Emode's research team will be sending you four
follow-up emails — one a week for the next four weeks.
These personalized follow-ups will include strategies and advice on:
- Mastering fear in your relationships
- Reducing the effect of fear on your work life
- Decreasing your level of physical tension
- Drawing strength from the things you least fear
Look for your first email next week! |
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Because Emode is dedicated to helping you be your
best self, our research team has created a test to help you examine
one of life's core issues: fear. By assessing your fear-driven behaviors
and thoughts on five different scales, Emode's What Are You Afraid Of?
test serves to give you a better understanding of both the positive
and negative ways fear affects your life. By knowing more about how
to accept and move past your fears, you can become happier and healthier
and can have more energy for the things you really want to experience
in life.
To create this test, Emode's experts researched a
variety of resources in order to offer you an accurate, understandable
picture of fear's dimensions. A combination of questions representing
each dimension helped Emode to determine your scores and create this
personalized report. Its goal is to help you make meaningful, positive
changes for your future. If you'd like to educate yourself further about
fear and its effects, take a look at the reading list below. |
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Borysenko, Joan. Fire in the Soul: A New Psychology
of Spiritual Optimism. (1994).
Britten, Rhonda. Fearless Living: Live Without Excuses
and Love Without Regret. (2001).
De Becker, Gavin. Fear Less: Real Truth About Risk,
Safety, and Security in a Time of Terrorism. (2002).
Greene, Don. Fight Your Fear and Win: 7 Skills for
Performing Your Best Under Pressure--At Work, in Sports, on Stage. (2002).
Jampolsky, Gerald. Love Is Letting Go of Fear. (1988).
Jeffers, Susan. Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway. (1992).
Keen, Sam and Jon Worden. Learning to Fly: Reflections
on Fear, Trust, and the Joy of Letting Go. (2000).
Maslow, Abraham. Motivation and Personality. (1954).
Pierrakos, Eva. Fear No Evil: The Pathwork Method
of Transforming the Lower Self. (1993).
Skyes, Barbara Wright. Overcoming Doubt, Fear and
Procrastination: Identifying the Symptoms, Overcoming the Obstacles.
(1997).
Wilson, Carnie. Gut Feelings: From Fear and Despair
to Health and Hope. (2001). |
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